Why should I bother?

Picture taken 2009

Why should I bother?

It’s one of those questions I’m sure you’ve asked yourself about many aspects of your life, work and so on. I certainly did.

To the outside world, I was a very lucky, happy, big guy with a lovely family, wonderful wife and successful business life – and yet inside I was not happy with myself.

Since the age of 5, all I ever remember is being the biggest in the class. Being called fatty, slow and thick by people who perhaps should know better. I looked like a happy kid but actually I was never happy at all. As each year went by I gained a stone in weight so, yes, by the time I was 17 I weighed 17 stone and by the time I was 30 – guess what – yes, I hit 30 stone.

Why was I not bothered? I was; but not enough to do anything about it. I had small successes over the years, losing 2- 5 stone then putting them back on. Five years ago I lost 12 stone; over the next 5 years put 6 back on, so – okay – I was still better off, but still very unhappy.

In 2014 my Mum and Dad died within 11 weeks of each other and last year I lost my Mother- In-Law, all of whom I miss very much. I’m not sure my Mum’s and Dad’s deaths sunk in until about 3 years after they died. I had a change of circumstances work-wise which did not work out, and all of these things hit my confidence big time. I became a hermit and despite doing some charitable bike rides and trying to keep myself motivated, it became a slippery slope. I stayed in instead of going out, I ate and drank more and then became even less confident about myself.

It looked as though I was still not bothered about me, to which the flip side is: if I’m not caring about myself, how does that help my family? And of course, it doesn’t. As a parent, while there is no manual, you are meant to try to be the best role model you can be for your children. Looking in the mirror, I had to say I was not fulfilling that role very well. Having spent thousands of pounds on miracle weight-loss cures and even considered whether my family might be better off if I wasn’t around, now I had to be bothered.

On the 1st July last year I decided to give up alcohol for 1 year and see where it led. I honestly cannot begin to explain how crazy that sounded at the time. I mentioned to a few close colleagues what I was up to and asked for their support; the response was interesting, shall we say.

Given my track record, I’m sure most people thought “Yeah, yeah, this is his next crazy idea that won’t last”. On the first of August 2018, after a month with no alcohol and feeling great, I decided I should really set goals for being healthy and some weight loss. I decided to go for a loss of 10 stone in the year.

I am starting walking or cycling. I had become so unfit I bought an electric bike to get me back out and cycling, as I love it. We are in January 2019 and I have lost over 5 stone and am running every day – well, jogging slowly. I am over half-way to my target and have never been so in control in my life. My coaching career is back on track and my most important role, that of Role Model for my children, is on track also. My kids have embraced a healthy lifestyle with me and we are all benefiting.

Picture taken 2019

So why did I bother? I would love to tell you exactly what it was, but I am really not sure. I watched a documentary about a lady who was very overweight. She refused to accept it was her responsibility, and no matter how much the Doctor and Psychologists tried to help she was not interested; unfortunately she died. If a Doctor tells you are going to die if you don’t change something and that doesn’t make you change, then what would?

Why would you bother to sort out whatever your current issues are – weight, business, whatever?

Maybe you have none and that’s brilliant, but if you have, please start dealing with them now. Rome wasn’t built in a day. If you’re like me and my current situation, well, I’m not there yet but I now know I will get there, as I have the mental side sorted out. Once you get clarity of mind things start to happen.

As a coach I am passionate about helping others believe in themselves and setting them free from themselves, as so often they’re like me: their own worst enemy and getting in their own way.

If you would like to get out of your own way, why not get in touch?